ITGEL. A

I see Every Nothing

2012-01-19T03:24:00.001+08:00

I see every nothing

I see people made of plastics

I see there`s nothing left in it

I see souls trapped in a box

I see you..

I seek you

I have not Forgotten this Blog !

2011-12-25T19:49:00.001+08:00

I just don`t have the urge to do anything .

My mind is in the sleep mode .

I need to do certain things to accomplish my dreams .

Its very simple .

I needed a break .

I`m exhausted .

i am fading away

a Complete Absence

2011-11-24T15:07:00.001+08:00

(sigh)
.
Exactly 17 years ago . My mother was holding me up against her chest .Happy , Smiling..

My first breath ,

My First Vision ,

My First touch ,

and My First shout .

I almost had a tear in my eyes while thinking about this .hehe

Every people i have met , Every moments i have been through ,Every thoughts and Every feelings that i had .
I can not feel nothing but gratitude & joy . :)

I salute my day as I sincerely appreciate my existence .
I gave myself a light back-slap and told myself 'it was another tough year' . I`m gonna reward myself a 'movie night' tonight :D

my Mother ,Sisters , brothers, Family & Friends . Much Love

(and thank you for all the people who bothered to comment & message me on faceb, I felt quite famous hahah ! :D)

Music Everywhere

2011-11-18T18:38:00.001+08:00

I record particular sounds & noises sometimes.

It helps me remember things i don`t usually remember .

It reminds me of how music can exist everywhere around ,

Surrounding us .

I am not good at recording it at all . But I really enjoy listening to it afterwards. Nothing makes me calmer .

This is something that i recorded over a year ago at Dund river .

日本語です！

2011-11-13T12:51:00.001+08:00

撲の日本語の能力がひじょうに悪くて、　たまに　日本語でブログポーストを書くことにしています。

日本に来てちょうど２年間たっているですが。なかなか日本語の漢字を覚えなくて、正直に言って、困っているのです。

今更いきなり、自分のことを気付くのがおかしいと思いますが、案ずるより産むが易しですよね。

英語でも、モンゴル語でも、日本語でも　うまく　話せるようになって、自分の気持ちをはっきりするようになりたい。

ひょっとしたら、いっぱい本をよむ方法がいいかも...

Trip to Kyoto

2011-10-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

Last week, the korean friends and I took a trip to Kyoto. The weather was overcast and rainy, which I think added all the more so to the autumn atmosphere. Plus, it gave me an opportunity to don my favorite blueish tone in my photography .

While in the bus , I heard that Kyoto was the former capital city of Japan in "Edo period "

First Destination was "Kinkaku-ji" . A Golden Temple , I`ve always wanted to see this place . But not with friends nor family , Anyone ! I wanted to go there alone .

The first time I saw this temple, I was awe-struck . Because it was so beautiful and majestic .and The Whole garden looked very peaceful. Thats why i loved it .

this is opening gate to enter the Garden of Golden Pavilion .

I recently bought a new "Infrared photography filter" for my camera . These pictures are my first attempts of infrared photography. Frankly, infrared photography needs to be stable and steady to be shot. I didnt have any tripod or anything .So quality is not good . Its just my bare hands holding the camera & shooting this extra long shutter speed photo.

haha , Koreans have such poses

the "Bento" i had in lunch . :)

Our Second Destination was "Kiyomizu-dera" . Which is another buddhist temple in Kyoto.We didnt have enough time to wander around so i roughly took some pictures of the temple while walking very fast.

This is the entering .

this is the view from the Temple

i told you it was a very rainy day

splendid view isnt it ?

To think that There is not a single nail used in the entire structure . Is extremely amazing .

rain drops

And our last Stop was at "Nijo Castle" . I didnt know this place until my friends told me about it . Its some sort of huge range of castle surrounding enormous flatland .

The Guide told us that this place was used as a courtroom for feudal lords .

Tired and gazing out the bus window.

but Glad and Very happy

Smooth Surfaces (Video Project)

2011-10-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

It`s been about two months , since Enerel & i shoot this video . Sorry for taking so much time .

There have been various types of difficulties while making this video . I`ve got to say that , this video was my first time working with the people who i really don`t know that much . And probably , because of that . All the footages were not exactly what i wanted or what i visualized in my head .

I`ve been trying to finish up this video for so long . But when i opened up my memory card . There were total 819 clips in there. Frigging 819 clips maan ! And i had to go through them and sort em out one by one .

Many of the clips were not shot by us .My guess is . Anyone who happened to be holding the camera , must`ve took a three to five seconds long 'Ooh , i accidently touched the button' shots .

When I finally finished sorting them out . It narrowed down to about hundred clips .

Then I had trouble finding the right music for it . I searched for days & days , just to find a descent music for it . But i had nothing . So i decided to take a rest for few days . And by rest i mean working on my other video . :| .

Finally i got something to match for the video , But it wasn`t just right . If you see the video you`ll know . Well it was kind of 'So so' song . you know it`s not really getting there but "It fits ..."

After finding the right music . The most menacing part . Compositioning . Maan .. You have no idea what it`s like . When you`re working on a short film . Compositiong wouldn`t be much of a problem . Because obviously there would be some kind of story already written down . And you could just simply follow the story . But when you`re working on something that has nothing to follow up to . The part when you composit them would be a disaster . You don`t know where to start .

But i was resolute . I worked vigorously and It is done . But as i said before the final result was Not what i expected . But It was hell of a good experience . I have learned many things while making this .

Special thanks to Eddie & Odko for giving us a chance to make this video . And Undi .Thank you so much For letting us use you`re amazing fish-eye lens .

Smooth Surfaces

ps: in the end of the post there is a 'Bonus Video'

here are some pictures

Bonus Video (I recommend to watch it on 720p)

had fun thanks guys ! :D

Photoshoot with Nori

2011-09-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

29th Of August . Two days before i get back to Japan .Nori is one of my best friends .

We`ve been friends for over 4 years . I was about to go back and we were just hanging out ,
but then i started taking photos of her ,, .. It`s just a tiny set of pictures . I added some color effects and glow peaks using adobe`s Photoshop & Lightroom

Hope you`ll like it .Cheers :D

Farewell !

2011-08-30T17:16:00.001+08:00

Is it already August 30th ? Wow , Seems like i blinked summer away . Everything went really fast .
Today i`m going back to Japan . To tell you the truth , I don`t want to go back but since i would not be able to get in college without High school graduation , i am being forced by myself to go there . I don`t even give a damn if this country was about to explode . I don`t care , Don`t want to leave !

This Summer was Great . It was awesome ! I met with so many people .

I thought i was going to make some videos like i usually do while i`m home . But this year , I was kinda busy . So i didn`t have time for editting it out .

First two weeks of the holiday spent by studying at Ielts Test Preparation course . Then i waited for the test for one more week . And when i finally took the test I got 6 out of 9 points :| .
Which is a decent point , where i can be accepted by the Universities . Pretty Cool yah ?

At later , i was down to make my own Stencil painting . It took me over two days . When i finished painting it . I demonstrated it on the Street art 2011 exhibition . My work was the worst of all . But i`mma paint better one next year .

And after that , A whole four days went by doing nothing . I mean no , it wasn`t really nothing . At that time I watched All feature movies on every frigging Cinemas . Thanks to the people who watched with me .

About One week for the " Skater - Video " Shooting . Had a Lots of fun . Thanks To Odko , Eddie , Enerel , Undi & Anha . Sorry for not posting the video . I haven`t published it on the youtube yet , So you may have to wait for about 3 or 4 weeks . I dunno ..

Exactly two days For the " Fire project " . Which is a video project . Where i was supposed to show off my editting skills by bringing up a cool fire elements to our Scenes . But it`s not over yet . It is still in process , Waiting to be edited .So Yall have to be tuned !

Another thing in my mind was this "Audio project" . I thought i could simply control the MPC by myself . But It turned out it was a really complicated machine . I realized making a music isn`t an easy job for a busy teenager . I had the whole thing mixed up in my head . But Sadly I didn`t have enough time for it . Thanks to my brother from another mother Sancho ! without you i wouldn`t even be talking about it . Maybe next year , or a year after that I will become an artist . I assure you that !

So yeah , I`m really happy that at least i made two of my biggest goals for this summer . I will probably come home again , this winter . Not sure .. but i`m going to make sure that i come next Spring .

Farewell ,, My friends ! My Family ! I had a great time !

Expected

2011-07-10T19:10:00.009+08:00

Well yeah , I haven`t been posting lately . I just wasn`t in the right mood .

So what kind of things have been happening to me recently ?
I watched a lot of films . I have never got the chance to watch some old vintage classy movies . I didn`t really get around to it until in June 16th I discovered a very cheap movie rental very near to our school dorm . 30Ys for 1 movie ! A W E S O M E !

I almost went to the place twice a day . Since my exams were all over I had nothing to be worrying about . A Hakuna Matata ..
Oh and I found some other movie resources on the internet . But I shouldn`t be really talking about it , heh

I think I watched some pretty good films . I specifically admired the works of “Woody Allen” “Stanley Kubrick” “Sofia Coppola “ “Coen Brothers” “ Martin Scorsese” . And there were some really good films that I have watched but frankly I don`t quite remember the Directors .

You might be wondering , ‘How many ?’
Well lets see . Over hundred and fifty maybe ? . Good thing I had my bill papers with me . You know , I`ve always been so dazzled about movies . How it can express great feelings , how it tells us stories and makes us end up in a deep understandings .

So, This is the main reason why I have NOT been posting , Taking photography , sketching , reading etc..
Also i`ve been working on some real difficult video editing , sound engineering softwares .Because honestly I really want to ‘Level up’ myself . heheh

And This Summer I am planning dozens of cool projects with dozens of cool kids , Hope I`m going to be producing some really good stuffs . heh

Anyway . Only one week to go home & bust out from this nasty place . All things packed up , everything`s ready . I`m the kind of type that likes plan and prepare for everything so early .

‘ This summer should really be explosive ‘ CATCHPHRASE ! ahah

See you very very soon fellas !

Inability to sleep

2011-06-11T09:40:00.008+08:00

Oh , Dear . I haven`t slept for over 4 days . I guess i`m experiencing that 'Insomnia' thing .With a Coffee addiction & plus this 'Insomnia' , it`s a total chaos .But I thought only 'cool people' experience this . ahah . A lot of stories have been told about this 'Not sleeping , ever awake' thing .

In "Cashback" one stopped sleeping & then somehow he gets a time manipulation power . Freezing time , seeing & drawing everybody naked , having extra extra extra hours ..

In "Fight Club" one stopped sleeping & then he built up a whole other individual inside his head without even knowing it . Creating a 'fight club army' . Teed off because he was burden for all the mess . He didn`t even know

But for me Neither I built up an army or froze the time . I felt pretty normal .
But I had one feeling, that The more you have this , more the things become clearer and vivid . I flinched away from what makes me feel human . Body takes a recess . I seldom have this feeling .

oh , yeah , also
I started getting these stimulating imponderable thoughts about me being with this girl that i barely know .Os and Ys. My mind is full of her . All i want is to get to know her more . I`m riveted . I am so deeply interested that i don`t even want to think about it . because thinking about it make me wanna burst . Because literally i have lots of other things to take care. (go KABOOM!)

ha ha ..

What ? :| I`m only a teenager .I reckon it`s quite natural . : |
You bastards.

but Why do i fall for girls ,
Why do i get drawn towards the girl that i can`t even make her mine ? I know this but can`t stand resisting it .
With this tiny brittle heart and a dire mind . I`m sure i am not a lover type .

Some poeple might say , "Oh you`re such a hopelessly romantic young boy !"
but that`s just not it .I am "Romantically hopeless"

Thus , I desperately want to sleep !
Go on a nap , and don`t want to wake up .. I`m gonna take the pills if i have to ..

god dammit ,

'Googeli goo , Go away'

that`s a quote from a movie i watched last night

.

Hatred

2011-06-04T20:56:00.004+08:00

Those irritating , obnoxious memories that you can`t just break ,

Those images that you can`t just shake off ..

I tried not to rage

I tried to keep everything in control

But I was shaking with fury & hatred

Why do I hate so much ?

Why worry about such trivial nuisance ?

Calm down , Relax

It`s just another thing you must slip through

la la la ,,

.

Journey

2011-05-05T01:34:00.004+08:00

When I woke up this morning ,The first thing came in my head was the word ‘Journey’
So I hastily grabbed my camera and went out with my tiny bike .I didn`t even brushed my teeth nor ate my breakfast . I don`t know why , I just felt like doing it .

ha ha

I was basically in my pajamas . So it is obvious that people would`ve thought of me crazy . I had nothing but my camera . I didn`t know what i`m gonna do if i get lost . and I had no money . I had Nothing !

But I didn`t care about it . ha ha .. I just headed where I wanted to .

the time when I came back was 17 30 pm in the noon . The time I left the dorm was probably 7 am in the morning . meaning , I`ve been on a bike for over 7 hours . it is insane I know haha

It was awesome yet a bit scary .

While I was on bike . I had no sense of time , limits , anything . I was half unconscious ,

Just flowed with the wind
Weather was gloomy . the More I went to the places i`ve never been before . More I wanted to go .

‘fulfill the curiosity’ was the motto .

a strawberry store !

a fruit hotbed ,

Easy breeze , The late spring smell ahh . It is sad that you couldn`t feel such a thing .I say , it is An unusual particular cozy feeling that you apparently can`t clearly mean in very words .

I was completely enjoying the silent peaceful countryside lifestyle of Japan. I rather be living here ..

I`ve always thought about it & always wanted to do it someday . it`s a day I`ll never forget .

My Bike ,

When I came back 'home'. Things looked way more different than before . My vision was clear and open . Now I see these & those . It was blur before ,

:)

ps : copyright Itgel.A Contact if necessary . contact[at]itgel[dot]net

Oh shoot ,

2011-04-30T16:55:00.004+08:00

The fundamental notion of the World
those Myths and stories

I am willing to know .

Cause I am scared that i might not belong to this world . Feels like i`m a hostile.

A tiny virus , a virus , a disease

What is it ?
There are many hypotheses for it .

People carefully study it`s natural behavior . Just so that they can state prophecy . Predict and prevent from something dreadful .

What is the point of all these obligations , missions ?

I can`t aim & aspire .. Without direction , life isn`t worth living .

Don’t you think ?

I do ,
I don`t

I wonder What am I doing

Basically , i`m surving

Blink Code

2011-04-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

When I was hanging around with my pals at some Café , somewhere near the downtown . I saw a girl ,And since the moment I saw her , until then .. I thought about her constantly , Not in a very ‘flirtatious’ way . But in a little curious , ‘wanting to know’ sort of way , well I wasn`t pondering all day 24/7 , but she was on my mind for so long . So I`ve decided to write a post about it

What was she thinking about ? Why did she look me right through in the eyes ?

At first she was staring . Honestly , that felt quite freaky . But then she smiled & started blinking at me . Like as if it was some kind of a Morse code or something , ahah . No I call it a ‘Blink code’

She was not really the prettiest girl i`ve ever seen , But she had this calm & relevant look . She`s tall , She had a browny short coat , circle earrings , no necklace , no rings , silver bracelets & no make up , She had those braces on …

Since I don`t have the confidence to make me go right up to her & talk . I just sat there , and wondered ‘who she was’ , ‘when she was gonna leave’ , ‘will if I ever see her again’

But really , If this ‘blinking thing’ had kept going on little longer . I felt I was actually going to talk to her , even if I don`t know what to say. But then , I thought ‘what if she`s not the person I expected ?’ , ‘what if it is better not to talk ?’ , ‘ what if what i`m feeling right now is more important than what I had to expect ?‘ bittersweet , I didn`t want to take chances , You know , I`ve been in a lot of situations like this before . I know what it leads to .. (oh really ?)

darumrum and she left a few moments later ,

Normally , I would totally forget about this ‘stranger’ & go on , But for some reason I could not . ‘sigh’

We both shared a ‘Blinking code’

Ha ha
No , I am not in love ..
(:

∑

.

oh howhy ,

2011-03-09T21:50:00.001+08:00

Since I first started blogging , It has been 4 years .. (yeah I started blogging when I was twelve , ahah) , I have always been the ‘Not real me ‘ for the whole time . Part of me just doesn't know how to be ‘myself’ completely on here,
which is why I think I'm pretty boring most of the time and it amazes me anyone would ever want to read what I have to say.

I kind of run my blog in the same manner I carry myself in public . I`m calm & reserved , Always thinking of things I don`t even want to know . Always staring at something , Gazing . I don't know how to have a good time unless I'm like , completely comfortable.

I can't say that I'm always comfortable here, since my words are being read by strangers (many of em are my friends ,though), but I'm always truthful.

I don`t really reply comments , Or otherwise , I should say , I can`t .
When it`s about writing the ‘typical me’ posts . It`s okay , It comes through & the words pile up . But when it`s about reading ‘you’ & replying you.

It is like a total null . My mind is blank . I don`t know what to say to reply you , beeeeeeeeeeeeep ..

Which shows how poor my English is .I feel so guilty about not responding you back ,
it doesn`t mean I don`t read them , In fact I really long for your comments & ‘your side of the view ‘ and I really appreciate them , When ever somebody comments something on my page . I get excited & i feel so cool about it . So don`t worry..
I do read them , and thank you if you have ever written something on my space ,,

There are sides of myself that don't always come across here on this blog , e.g. If you knew me in person , I don`t think i`m going to be the one who you want to be hanging out with for a long time , I don`t think you`re going to find me as a person who you assume to be me . You would think of me as a weird or goofy guy .
Any of the two cross your mind? I'm not sure I let myself be either here or else you might not want to stick around for long ,

I rather have a “non-social guy lifestyle “ better than a “Trendy cool guy lifestyle “ , It`s because that , I find it more descent . I`m a pretty boring guy, And i am a very boring blogger ,

I'm concerned you'll be even more bored with what you`ll find here to read in the future. Like I need to give you a warning, just in case.. This is kind of my way of keeping my feelings from being hurt. Ahah

Once I have more energy I hope to put more life into this blog.

See ya later then !

Whoo !

2011-03-09T20:31:00.001+08:00

Within several weeks , I`m going to be the ‘Senpai , man ! ..
That means i`m not going to clean the whole dorm ever again ! Not going to prep the breakfast & the dinner everyday ..

And it also means , More ‘separate time for me to do whatever I like !..

yeah man !

Exams are over , i`m Totally lining up in the top ten , i`m pretty sure of it .. Because ‘オレガメチヤガンパツタカラ !’ ,,
Somewhat , I`m proud of myself ..Ahah ,
One year went so fast ! ,, not really that fast but , man .. There are only two years left ! and I can`t wait till the‘graduation day ‘ ,,

I `m going hard and everything should be fine ..
Right ?

Whoo !

◊

with Hope ,

2011-02-24T21:54:00.003+08:00

I`m having exams these days ,,
Exams , That are so important, that it could probably even decide whether i get accepted by the Univ , or whatnot, no,, not really , but pretty consequential ,so

I thought I should keep up the hard work ,,

So , that`s why i`ve been so busy `not writing posts ,lately ..
And a lots of stuffs `ve been going on ,,

Lots of thinking , Lots of disappointment , Lots of Self-consciousness and 'all that negative stuffs'

you know me ,,

I`ve been feeling real bad for a long time , but all they say to me .. Is the simple ‘がんばれ ! ’ phrase . It won`t even give me a teeny bit of a faith & a certainty ,,

And speaking of feeling awful , here is the most terrible thing that has happened to me lately .

that , I can not even enjoy a simple single melody, these days . Which is pretty strange & odd thing ,
Because I`ve always been so hypersensitive when it comes to listening something , ahah
And i`ve always absorbed so much energy from it ,
sinking it through my ears, through the brain.. eheh

Sleep and do exactly what they`ve told me ..

nothing more , nothing less

no nothing

, I guess u`ve noticed a quite distress , sadness among me.. All that seriousness and everything .
I am really tired from those

i guess , our feelings are pretty much tied up with the weather , after all

With all within me , I`m hoping /longing for the “enthusiastic , funny , positive ME “ to take over, once and for all,

Hoping for ‘him ’ to come back,,

: |

Differences between you and me

2011-02-09T22:48:00.007+08:00

You see
There are a lot of differences between you and me ,,
You ?
Can`t even cook yourself a meal ,
Can`t even manage to sleep at your proper bed time ,
can`t even clean !

can`t even make yourself a time ,
Can`t even protect yourself without your mama papa !

You?
You don`t have an ability to improve yourself
You are not creative , & not productive
You don`t have any life experience
You don`t know what pain is
You don`t know how loneliness feels like,,
You don`t know how it feels like , when there is nobody out there for you,,
You don`t know what money is ,, time is
You don`t have any purpose
You do not dream!

All you do is watch tv all day , surf internet , listen to music that you don`t even like ,
Eat your mom`s delicious dinner everyday , Think about sticking or getting sticked all day ,,
ha ha
Spend lotsa money & time on your look , got a tattoo , got a pierce , brand shoes, brand jeans , & everything ,, pssht !

When you poop your mama`s always wiped it , when you ,,
okay ,, ahem

You Talk loud , Laugh loud , Eat loud
You think you`re the only person there

You think you`re ‘the cool one’ , you think you`re the best thing that ever happened here
You think you spit out rainbows from your mouth when you talk ,,

But you ,,

You are nothing

Nothing but a miserable , idiotic, laggard , ridiculous , pretentious fuck !

Oh ho ho ,, You try sooooo hard to get someone`s attention ,and have fun

But life isn`t about it ,

Me ?

Unlike you , I am much more sophisticated , more developed ..
experiencing every kind of pain everyday ..

What i`m through , what i`m ‘going’ through is extreme agony ,
You won`t even imagine

Oh yes , The look
Well see me later ,, then ,,
pfa

This is not about me being arrogant or anything
& this is not about just one person ,,

At Anglo ,

2011-02-01T22:12:00.004+08:00

‘ Suzei We aru goengu stu reeddo zis aarutikuru ‘
Today we`re going to read this article ,,

‘ Wan seory goozu laik zisu , Zeeru aru su oshyun karentusu , e surpasu karent andu eee dipp karennt ,, ahem , eeee ,, ze surpasu shiwaterl izu,,,, ‘
‘one theory goes like this , there are two ocean currents , a surface current and a deep current , the surface seawater is .,, ‘

Ziis aru huyubu nyuu vardesu : These are few new words

Sakkaa Soccer
Oriumpikusuuu Olympics
Gureeto Great
Assquaku Earthquake
Purohueshyoneru Hueasbaaru pureya Professional baseball player
Tekuneorooji Technology
,, etc

If you had listened how they`re actually pronouncing the words ,, I bet you will burst out laughing ,
it`s hilarious ,,

Loner

2011-01-31T13:50:00.001+08:00

I do Not want to speak with anyone for a month , or a year
If I do that , Not only I stop talking

But I`ll stop thinking in words
I will free myself from specification , I`ll stop classifying things

'Liberation'

And , I`ll see the world like i`ve never seen before

But , What i`m afraid is ,If i go through this ,
I might Lose my moral discrimination ..

That is really ‘bad’ ,,You know ,

no , i`m not doing this

I`m down

2011-01-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

Throughout a whole one year ,, I’ve never shed a single tear ..
But today , I somehow cried .. hehh ,

In my head one was screaming `Shut up ! Stop it ! How embarrassing !`

It felt pathetic , but I could ‘not’ stop
so, I went to the place, that nobody would ever hear me
And i Shouted ..

I shouted as loud as I can ,
aaAAAaaaAAAAAaAAAAAAA !!!

I wished for a lightning to strike me on head,
right over there

[sigh,,]

genet uchir shaltgaangui uilj muilaad ,, yagad bgaga medhe baila

Oi , you ..

2011-01-14T15:06:00.003+08:00

Why do you have to be so cool ?

Why do [you] have to be so pretty?

Hey , you there !

Why do [you] have to be so smart ?

Why do you have to be so frigging awesome ?

Why do you have to be so tall ?

Why do you have to be so different for?

Oi, you !

How could you be so beautiful ?

How could [you] be so talented ?

How could [you] be so strange & mysterious ?

How could you be so bad-ass ?

How did you do that ?

Jeez ,,When will I ever get to compete with [you] people ?,,

screw me ..

(jealousy plus diffidence & reverie)

Foresee the Future ,,

2010-12-30T01:49:00.002+08:00

Successfully graduated high school & university

Had became an independent film maker ,,

Mastered piano , guitar & violin at age of 18

Traveled across the world with “a friend” , by the sea .. ;-)

While traveling , did a little memoir

Wrote a few books ,,

Got engaged ,

Perfectly speaking in English , Japanese , Korean & French (pf really ?)

Became skilled in drawing ,,

Opened up my own little bookstore .,

Had became a well known photographer

Met people ,,

Had became a good athlete

Asked my beloved one to marry me in public ,, (very Romantic , ironic)

Met personally with Temujin Doran ,

Given money to the charities .

Got hired in the famous film production ,,

Built my own house ,,

,, and then .

Mistaken

2010-12-26T00:23:00.002+08:00

the whole idea of our living is so wrong !

We think we own `things` ,,

we think we own this car , this house , this watch , this jewelry

But we don`t actually own anything ! anything but our mind !

We are born to die` ,and We `know` it .,

We know our life will end eventually ,,

We "Know" this whole universe is a huge blast & everything will be collapsed and compressed in the very end ,,

we have illuminated ourselves for decades ,

are we living in giant illusion of lie ?

Things we`ve taught by our whole lives ,,

are already told generations of men, before us ,, & they have accomplished nothing so far ,

do we know how we exist ? , do we know how we came to this form of life ? , do we know about extraterrestrial life on the other planet ? no we dont.

We`re going to die ,, & all we can take from this miserable mesmerized life ,

is our feelings , our glorious memories ,,

Thus , is life about Feelings ? ,,

Is it about what we feel , what we have felt ?

◊

yes yes , i am who is opposite of who you are ,, the pessimistic one , and yes , i am speaking of serious things too early ,, yes sir , i do not know life struggles , & how painfully complicated it is , blahnana ,,

◊

Outer space

2010-12-23T18:43:00.003+08:00

Feist - how a rose e`re blooming (Christmas mood music)

■

“You want to know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes. . Yes sir, better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee. – Die hard (1988)“

“ I`m sixteen now , Mom & dad said i`m growing up , said i`m becoming man now .. but I feel more like physically grown , mentally retarded freak ,, I can`t even manage to wake myself up .. “

“bought a 900 page novel yay ! “

“ Even when i`m 15000 feet high , still thinking about her ”

“ I look so unattractive right now .. “

“Are we there yet ?”

“ what ?! on plane for 5 hours ? really ? what am I gonna do ? am I frigging supposed to write a book or something ? Gooooodd “

“whoa ,, is that a “ `Fuji mountain` ? i`m so going to take a picture ”

“Everytime I go on an airplane , some overweight guy sits right next to me ,, why does it always have to happen to me ?”

“An exit-door procedure at 30.000 feet. Mm-hmm. The illusion of safety ,”

“ this stewardess`s accent is annoying me ,, what kind of accent is that ? ,, oh come on ! can not even understand a single word ! ”

“,, Oxygen, gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, we're taking giant, panicked breaths...Suddenly you become euphoric, docile, you accept your fate. -Fight club ”

“why is she keep staring at me ? ,, creepy ,, ”

“ Hoping for an air crash ,, that would be a life changing experience ”

"We are so lost ! (in the smoke)"

" Going back to the place i belong ,, "

“God I miss my family , ”

“Yup , here I am .. home ”

■

Santa

2010-12-22T02:53:00.004+08:00

He was a skinny Black man , & he was wearing reggae colored Santa hat , dahah

“ Uhh ,, so you`re black ? eh “ I said ,

Santa said “Yo dog , why you have to be so racist , man .. ”

“well , everybody except me in this planet thinks that you are a big white man ,,” I said

“thazry homie , I deliver all the presents & gifts for the kids , and some white guy gets all the gratitude ,,, fools ! ” said the Santa

I said , “ so , how can you afford these ,,, “

Beep beep , I open my eyes , dazed ,, realized I`ve been sleeping ,

‘What the ? ’

do i still believe in Santa stories ?

November 24th

2010-11-27T21:51:00.002+08:00

birth,,day

the day in each year which is the same date as the one i was born ,

The day i get presents from people , and become materially satisfied ,

the day everyone wish me all the best but in fact it is 'the day' i get one step closer to death

the day i realize another year just passed by and there is nothing i have done , once again

the day i feel alone & distressed

the day my mind gets overcrowded with peculiar thoughts

great day ,isn`t it ,,,

'Deception Point '

2010-11-20T13:31:00.001+08:00

I`m fairly proud of myself , for finally being finished reading a book ,,

Frankly , I have never really completed reading something before ,, I just preferred films more than books , but now i`m in conclusion , that ‘reading a book’ is worthier than watching films..

Because ‘reading a book’ is like , watching super exhilarating movies for months ` days ,,

and it can give so many specified details that you could not get those from just watching one and a half hour film .. but I still find movies enjoyable , though..

So , i`m glad that I understood what is worth ‘reading a book’ ,,and i`m very pleased that my ever finished reading novel is called ‘Deception point’ written by Dan Brown ..
Dan Brown is one of the most intelligent & most accomplished writers,, (he is the one who wrote the ‘Da vinci code’)

the story was heck of a good read .. all those thriller ,mystery & action.. the more I read ,the more I had to read .. mr. Brown has built a enormous world that is rich in fascinating detail ,, I couldn`t get enough of it .. page turning thriller ,, I highly recommend it,,

therefore , Now i`m in an addiction of books , & i`m starving for my next adventure ..

Do you have any suggests ?

Whooho ,,

2010-11-13T13:56:00.003+08:00

Hello ! hope you had a marvelous week ,
this week I got a chance to go to a “amusement park” with my classmates , We got there early in the morning & we were scheduled to end it in the noon and so as we did..
i had a great time , all that excitement and fun entertainings ,, I was very longing for that ,, ahh :) ,, ,,
the weather wasn`t really descent, but though it was so much fun .. being on the ferris wheel was the best of all ,,

while we were there I wandered through the park & took some pictures ,, (yeah , yeah ,, i know ,, if i had much time i would`ve took finer )

despite being went to a super exciting place , this week was much like any other .. same old depressing days ,,ahah ..
bye , cheers :D

Rainy grey Saturday

2010-11-06T12:36:00.004+08:00

Sigh ,,
the weather is drunk , it`s raining like cats & dogs ,,

For a day like today ,,

All I want to do is ,, lie on my bed , put on my headphones ,,Press the ‘shuffle button’ ,, and just relax ..

I want to rest & lie down as long as I can ,,
But unfortunately , I only have about less than 30 minutes ,, to enjoy ‘myself’

Because i`ve got things to do ,,so I have to force myself to get up ,,
sigh~ ,,

To do list

1. Laundry
2. Tidy my place
3. Clean air conditioner filter
4. Dry clean the school uniform,
5. Polish shoes
6. Home works
7. Study for up coming exams
8. Go out , buy laundry detergents , shampoos , soaps & tooth pastes for everyday hygiene essentials
9. Get ready for school [next Monday]
10. Start shooting a Film ? [which I was planning to do it for over a year ??] ?!?

Period of Dormancy

2010-10-30T12:59:00.004+08:00

With in a few weeks , it`s going to be the winter , again ..
the coldest season of the year,
oh , and how I hate to see the trees jiggling from icy coldness of the winter ,,

Winter is full of snow , everything is white & no colour at all ,, we wear thick fur coats to make us warm ,, & city will be a complete lack of fun ..

Even so , it has good sides anyway ..
it has a lot of important events like , Christmas , valentine & my birthday .. ahah
It would be easier , if we just sleep & skip the whole winter ,,

Dully,,

2010-10-23T13:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes , when i`m in bed trying to sleep ..

I suddenly feel so energetic

And I start to dance in my bed ,,
Ahaha..

Doing the robot and the moonwalk ,,

Yeah I know ,, slightly strange ,,

Sometimes , when i`m away from things that I need at the moment ,,

I try to draft it using my mind ,, I believe I have some kind of gravitation telekinesis power , or something
How ridiculous is that ? :)

ahah,,
But after a few seconds , I stop and i start to feel very silly ..

Using pencil ,,

2010-10-16T11:01:00.004+08:00

i should say hallelujah ,, that it`s eventually a saturday ,, i can finally enjoy a relaxing time ,,
this week i did a little sketching ,, for a very long time i wanted to concentrate on my drawings ,. make some time for it ,, you know ..
and yeah ,,obviously , this week i actually did .. and i promise myself , i will keep it going ..

these are the few illustrations that i did this week ,

Déjà vu ,,

2010-10-02T14:00:00.001+08:00

A feeling ,,

A feeling of having experienced something before ,

Did you ever had a feeling like this ?

I bet , you had

I`m always curious about these sort of feelings ,,

Did I dream it ?
Did I accidently catch some information from future
when i`m asleep ?

Is it everybody , or is it just me ,heh

Loony

2010-10-02T13:11:00.002+08:00

Just for a few moment

Forget about your existence ,

Forget about your fate , your purpose

Forget about every feeling that you had ,

everything that matters to you ,, no longer ..
the whole civilization thing had faded away

Imagine , that you are standing on the unfamiliar ‘new born earth’ ..

You are the only one there ,,

And now , tell me ..

What is right ,
and what is wrong ?

/sigh/ this is absurd ,, what am I even talking about ?! ..
pathetic

A Word

2010-09-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

With one word , one can turn someone truly happy .
.
With one word , one can change someone`s life
entirely ..

Life is full of unexpected things ,

Good things ,, bad things

So ,You might miss a chance , ,

Well , for myself .. i`ve realized , how worthy the words are

And Every weekend , when my mom calls ,, in the end of our gracious conversations ,

I always say

‘ love you , mom ‘

I`ve changed,,

2010-09-19T13:24:00.002+08:00

I have changed ,, haven`t I ?

Reading books all day long .. Wondering about big things ,,

Listening to music that I would not have listened .. daydreaming ,,

I became calm and silent ,, I became gentle ..

But back then I was all serious and stuff ,, heh .. now i`m like ‘nahh whatever,, ’ ..

Maybe ,,
I `m trying to say I`ve grown up ? .. a little bit ,,

Maybe not ,, maybe I`ve just changed ..
But changing is the way we live ,, the way we are supposed to live ,, right ? heh

Apologies dear readers,, heh , i`ve written another post in my mere English .. all these ‘ English things ‘ are just to improve my knowledge in English ..

Questions questions ,,

2010-09-19T12:35:00.005+08:00

To get to know myself

Speak to myself ,,
To speak to myself

Ask myself questions ,,

Slowly

Answers are definitely inside of me , all I gotta do is to find out ..

Serenity..

2010-09-11T14:44:00.007+08:00

5 дахь өдрийн орой ,,.

жинхэнэ итгэл ,, хэхэх ..

сонсч байгаа хөгжимөө мэдрээд .. гоё инээгээд ,,
inspiration орж ирээд ..хэх

ерөнхийдөө 7 хоногт ганц олдох ‘миний цаг’ ..

no need to pretend ,
no need to be afraid ..
Calm down
Chill out ,,

the usual me ,,
the relaxed me ..
peacefull

хэхэх ..бусад үед нь “нөгөө итгэл” хийх ёстой юмаа хийгээл ярвайгаад байжил байдаг ..
одоо бол бодох юм алга ..

Homesick ..

2010-09-11T13:48:00.006+08:00

After living here for while ,
with these odd people ..

The important things became more and more simple

Big things , spacious things , variety of things that I come in contact with

The finer and finer the important things
tend to come into focus ..

Mom ,

grandpa ,grandma ,
brothers ,sisters , friends,,

I am totally homesick right now.. heh

Let me be me ..

2010-09-04T13:44:00.005+08:00

Let me be me ..

Let me be me .. Let me be me .. Letme be me ..
Let me be me .. Let me be me ..
Let me be me ..
Let me be me ..
Тийм биш болмоор байна .. эвдэлмээр байна .. уншмаар байна
.. байна .. баймаар байна ..
баймаар байна .. мэдмээр
байна .. аялмаар байна ..

Төвөг удмааргүй байна ,, сонсмоор байна ..
сонсмоор байна .. инээмээр байна .. тэвэрмээр
байна .. гоё харагдмаар байна .. зогсмоор байна ,, амармаар байна .. зурмаар байна ..
сурмаар байна .. онцгой баймаар байна ..
бодмоор байна .. уурламаар байна ..
орилмоор байна ..
үсэрмээр байна .. дуулмаар байна
.. Уншиж байгаа чамайг идмээр байна ..
хамт баймаар байна .. тийм биш байна ..
уулзмаар байна .. чам шиг баймааргүй байна ,,
сэрмээр байна .. алхасмаар байна ..
уйдмаар байна ,, зогсмоор байна .. хармаар байна
Дахаха.. тэнэг итгэл ..

Wasting time , fooling around

2010-08-20T17:43:00.007+08:00

Хий дэмий цагийг өнгөрөөсөөр байтал "там"руу буцах болчлоо шд .. Одоо бараг 7 хон хоногийн дараа харьлаа . Харих замдаа Оосакад нэг хонох юм шиг байна лээ .
Сүүлчийн эрх чөлөөтэй өдрүүд одоо үргэлжилж байна . Өнөөдөр баахан дуунууд , номнууд татаж авсан .. Өчигдөр фотозураг, уран зурагны талаар 2 ном худалдаж аваад ..Одоо сүрхий ном уншмаар санагддаг болчлоо шд .. Арай том хүүхэд болж байна уу даа .. нтр хэх..

Киноны талаар ном хайсан боловч төв номын сангаас бусад газарт олдсонгүй .. төв номын санд үзээгүйлдээ .. үзээд байсан ч худалаж авч чадахгүй гээд орсончгү .. Их дэлгүүрийн хажууд юуч билэдээ тэрүүнд Монгол кино урлагийн талаар 50000 аар нэг мангар том ном байсан л даа .. Гэхдээ тийм том юмаар ч би яахавдэ .. тийм биздэ .. хэхэх
Өнөөдөр чинь хэдэн ч цомог татчивдаа .. 3 , 4н хамтлагийн 9өөд цомог татчижээ .. Фотозургийн ойлголт техник заасан 15-аад ном татчиж .. одоо хийх юм бхгү гэхгүй уншаал байна даа .. хэхэ .. өө бас хөгжимийн аймар том source Molly-оос хэдэн дуу хэлүүлж татаж авсан ..

Энэ дуу таалагдад байгаам .. Florence and the Machine-You've Got the Love (The XX Remix) ийм нэртэй дуу байгаан .. Дууных нь remix л дээ .. хэхэх .. Florence and the Machine гэж 2007 он орчимын үеээс л гарч ирсэн .. английн поп дуучин ?? хамтлаг ?? .. юм байна лээ .. Яг өөрийнх нь дуунууд нээх таалагдаагүээ , энэ remix л гоё ..

Тийн энэ бас нэг гоё дуу байна лээ .. Washed-Out-Belong гээд дуу .. Washed out гэдэг нь зүгээр л stage name юм бээлээ л дээ .. Жинхэнэ нэр нь Ernest Greene гэсэн . Энэ personal blog нь ч хүртэл байна .. бас л саяханаас уран бүтээл хийж эхэлжага юм байлээлдээ ..

Mystery Jets, “Flash a Hungry Smile” гэж дуу .. meh .. яахавдэ .. дажгүй л хамтлаг санагдсан .. гэхдээ энэ дуу нь таалагдсан .. Байгуулагдаад 5 ,6н жил болж байгаа бололтой .. бас л английх юм шиг байна шд ..

За тэгээд явах ойртсон чинь сонин санагдаад эхэллээ .. Тэнд очоод бас нэг хэсэг сонин байж байгаад .. Фотозургийн клуб нтр ороод ядаргааны спортоо больж магадгүй .. хэхэх .. Удахгүй явах гэж байгаа ч гэсэн явах хүртлээ бас жоохон блог бичээд .. сонссон үзсэн юмаа хуваалцчдыму л гэж бодоод хэхэх .. Ойрд ер нь нээх сонин болчлоо . Peace !

I feel like I don`t exist ..

2010-08-18T17:31:00.006+08:00

Just me , sitting on my chair ,, infront of my laptop .. nothing special .. Thinking about who i am , and who i wanted to be .. you know ..
Lazy is my middle name .. i sit on my chair everyday and do nothing .. I write blogs , i do videos ,, cuz i don`t have a real social life .. heh..
i am an awkward , creepy dude .. who tries too hard to be so damn cool ..
Everybody loves me but i feel like i don`t deserve it .. I feel like i`m the worst but i`m really trying to be a better ..

My words are worthless , i can`t really express myself in words .. people usually don`t get what i`m saying .. so everyday i feel like i`m about to explode ..
i am a selfish , cliche .. i look strange , i look stupid , i look ugly.. .. I got pimples all over my face..
I study be`cuz they told me to .. I have a destiny that my parents want me to go through .. I`m born not to do what i want ..
Sometimes i don`t know what i`m doing .. and this very moment is one of `em .. I got pimples all over my face .. dammit said it again ,, heh ,,
i take pictures that are totally random , I`m like making babysteps figuring out what i should do .. I`m a student struggling through hard times .. I feel like i have potential to study ten languages , but i didn`t even make it to three ..
My role in this life is very simple ..
I want to inspire people ,, i want to get inspired ... I have 0% knowledge in fashion ..
I promised myself to not to drink alcohol , and not to smoke .. Because those unnecessary things ruined my family .. I love my mom , love my family .. but my real father..I want to be the man .. not just A man .. want to be THE man .. like my grandfather ..
i get angry easily, also get happy easily.. I might flirt with a decent fancy girl ..
I`m fifteen but i look like twenty ..heheh .. no not really .. I know i got so much to prove.. I have an imagination that nobody has ..
I`m unconfident , my conscience says i`m stupid .. I enjoy music that is relaxing .. music that somehow makes you feel good .. I like films , i like movies , like to enjoy how cinematography is made .. but i didn`t watch that many films in my life .. but i will .. in the future .. I don`t watch films just because they are so actiony and stuff .. i watch film because what directors trying to say by their stories is amazing ..

i know there are many mistakes and sentences are totally random but ..the reason why i did this post in english was just to improve my english ..
Peace !

Надад юу тохиолдчив до ?

2010-08-09T20:43:00.002+08:00

Өдрүүд хий дэмий үргэлжилсээр л байна . Эндхийн хайрцаган нэгэн хэвийн амьдралдаа орж байх шиг байна .. Японоос амралтаараа энд ирсэн нь .. Нэг хайрцагнаас нөгөө хайрцагруу л орчихсонтой адил .. Гэхдээ монгол дахь хайрцаг нь арай илүү том юмдаа .. хэхэх .. хайрцаг хайрцаг этр юу яриад байнаа би ..

Өдөржингөө нэтд суугөөл хөгжим сонсоол , кино үзээл уг нь ч сайхан байгаам л дөө .. Нээрээ хөгжим гэснээс Memoryhouse гэдэг хамтлагт их дуртай болчихсон .. шинэхэн л хамтлаг юм шиг байна лээ .. Цомог хайгаад the years гэж л ганц цомог олдсон .. Анх Molly гаас мэдэж авсан хамтлаг байгаам .. Нэг lately гэж дуунд нь дурлаад .. өөрийхөө fan video г хийж байгаа .. сүрхий гоё хийгээгүээээ лол ..

Нийлдэг 2 хүүхэдтэйгээ нийлж Downtown гэж видео хийх гэж үзсэн .. уг нь авсан дүрсүүд нь дажгүй м шиг боловч .. эдит хийгээд нийлүүлэхээр жоохон сонин авцалдахгүй байгаад байгаа ..

Маргааш junior flickrer үүд уулзана гэсэн .. Мань мэт шиг юуч чадахгүй юмнууд гологдох байхдаа ? .. аймар хүмүүсийг дагаад даруухан л явахаас даа .. Social site-уудад л ингээд арзаганаад байдаг болохоос олон хүмүүсийн дунд таг зожиг , хачин шд би .. заза нэг пост бичмээр санагдаал яваад байсым .. биччлээ шд .. загатнасан газар маажиж байгаам шиг сайхан байна .. этр .. хахах

Hello world !

2008-08-02T12:36:00.001+08:00

Блогоо нээгээд нилээн удсан ч гэсэн нэг зүйлийг ерөөсөө мэддэггүй байсан юм бна . Блоггер болгон блогоо нээхдээ анхныхаа постыг " Hello world ! " гэж гарчигладаг бичигдээгүй хууль байдаг гэнэ . Би ямар мэдэх биш блогоо нээгээд жилийн дараа л энэ постоо бичиж сууна . За тэгээд ямартай ч би энэ блогдоо өөрийн бодож санаж байгаа , уурлаж бухимдаж байгаа , ертөнцийг яаж харж байгаа бүхнээ бичих болно . Миний блогоор зочилж байгаарай .